Updated: Feb 10, 2019
Regardless of how often anger or hate appears, or under what circumstances, each is a sign of feeling disempowered. It’s holding someone else accountable for our feelings of weakness, vulnerability, lack of safety, or insecurity.
The good news is that emotions are energy, and anger and hate are active energies. An active emotion opens the pathway to change, whereas a passive emotion (such as apathy or indifference) creates stagnation. As a person reacts to the trigger of anger, (s)he is actively participating in a possibility of change.
What can we do about anger and hate?
Understanding hate and anger differently lays the foundation to move past the hold these emotions may have over you. The solution stems from replacing hate / anger with COMPREHENSION.
All people are doing the best that they can within their level of awareness.
When we aim to understand someone else’s life or story, we bring about a new illuminating perspective. We can grasp, in real terms, the concept that all people are doing the best they can within their level-of-awareness. One’s level-of-awareness is the lens of perspective based on one’s personal separation from reliable, unconditionally loving sources. Perhaps we were neglected, abused, or ignored. Maybe we just grew up in an environment (family, education, religion, geography) which was not connected to universal wisdom and, subsequently, propagated misbeliefs.
We are each born with a strong connection to our ability to love – ourselves, others, and all else. Life’s pain, challenges, neglect, abuse, a fear-based society, etc., all have a way of separating us, to one degree or another, from that inner knowingness. As such, we develop levels of awareness that are far less than that with which we were born.
It might be easy to assume that if someone hurt you, they knew better. The term “level-of-awareness” refers not to what the intellect knows, but what shines through us after we get knocked around a bit by life. For example, a man may be called “stupid” all his life by others and, even if he becomes conscious of the pain it caused him, call his child “stupid.” The link is created in childhood regardless of his ability to intellectualize its harmfulness.
You and everyone that you encounter is doing the best that they can do in this moment as well.
You can also harness the anger and hate to allow its energy to produce a positive result. The first step is to understand the root cause of the feeling. What is making you feel lack? Do you feel vulnerable, helpless, insecure, unworthy, inferior, or threatened? Once you begin to follow the thread to its core, you will notice how anger and hate are attempts at regaining a feeling of power. As you review the circumstances, decide how else you may feel powerful again.
And lastly, lessening anger and hate can be achieved by surrendering.
Surrender. It sounds easy. Just let go. In our heads, we get it – to feel peace or to move on, you have to surrender. You should let it go. You must release it.
Interestingly, however, merely saying “have to,” “must,” or “should,” is the opposite of surrender. As long as you are thinking, “have to,” “should,” or “must,” you are expressing that you have a need; you have a resistance. In actuality, you can set your destination to achieve surrender, but you can’t have to have it, you can’t need it, you can’t should have it. We are so conditioned to believe that we have to be in control of everything, that even when we are trying to let go, we are controlling our letting go. Surrender cannot be achieved through control or through resistance.
Surrender is understanding that there is another source of power beyond just your own self or other people. There is non-physical source of pure love that is so profoundly available to you from the moment of birth till the moment of death. That endless source of energy (consciousness, universe, guides, whatever you want to think of it as) is always there for you.
When you recognize that this power exists, you can tap into this source. This partner is there to help you. Hand off your problems. Hand off your challenges. Let go of the fight. Release the resistance. You do your half, show up and hand it over. Let that energy do the other half, the half it can’t do unless you hand it off.
It’s not enough to say the words, “I’m giving this to you.” To truly surrender, the energy behind the words is essential. There’s a feeling that accompanies the actual hand-off and your aim is to experience that feeling. It feels like relief. It feels like the fight is over. It feels like you are not alone. It feels like a great big sigh! At that moment, this miraculous partner shows up with full strength to assist you. Surrendering is allowing that beautiful, wonderful, wise, and infinite energy to support you.
Anger or hate never hurts whom you feel hatred or anger toward (although ensuing actions can); they only hurt you. Letting go, therefore brings peace to you and grows your self-love.